The consequences of unhappy, negative emotions can invade your professional and personal relationships, and erode your self-esteem. Learn to neutralize negativity by focusing on what makes you happy.
Week 1: Keep a Daily Diary
Can you easily identify the daily activities, interactions and occurrences that make you happiest? Keeping a daily diary will help you identify the situations and people that make you happiest. Take note of these occurrences, which can be as small as listening to music while working, talking to a good friend, or spending time with your family - and slowly begin to increase the frequency of those tasks which make you happiest.
This step is about self-awareness and thinking critically about your daily reactions and emotions. Only by understanding why we feel the way we do can we expect to make lasting meaningful change.
Week 2: Fake It Till You Make It
This week, you are going to put a smile on your face even if you're feeling blue, grumpy or burdened. A response called facial feedback indicates that when you smile, you send a signal to your brain that says, "I am happy." Additionally, if you're smiling, you're likely to seem more approachable and happy to others - and people are more likely to smile back. We experience positive emotions more frequently than negative ones, but negative emotions are unfortunately stronger.
It's important to remember that you aren't attempting to eliminate all your negative emotions - such a task would overwhelm anyone. Instead, try to increase the instances of positive emotions (remember your daily dairy!).
Week 3: Create a Diversion
When you find yourself drowning in a sea of negative thoughts - "I'm overweight," "I'm unlikeable," "Why am I even at this party?" - you need to find a strategy to stop ruminating. This applies to social situations and when you are spending time alone. It may seem like an overwhelming task to divert your attention from issues swirling in your own mind - but all you need are 1 or 2 escape mechanisms.
If alone, put on your favorite song and sing along or go for a long walk. When in a social setting, try to concentrate on what others are saying in the conversation rather than what's going on in your own mind.
Week 4: Random Acts of Kindness
During the fourth week of your happiness action plan, you are going to commit 1 random act of kindness a day. By feeding a stranger's parking meter, sending someone a thank you note, or paying someone a compliment, you give yourself a burst of positive emotion. By practicing small acts of kindness, you will perceive yourself and others more positively. You'll also appreciate your good fortune in comparison. Give yourself a self-worth, self-esteem boost by helping others.
By Amy R. Kramer
National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy
Teen pregnancy is a serious problem in the United States. Three out of 10 girls in the U.S. get pregnant before their 20th birthdays, and 1 out of every 10 babies born in the U.S. is born to a teen mother. This isn’t good for teens, it isn’t good for taxpayers, and it certainly isn’t good for babies.
Children of teen mothers are often born into situations that are less than ideal. Babies born to teens are more likely to grow up in poverty and apart from their fathers. They are more likely to struggle academically and less likely to graduate from high school. They are more likely to be born prematurely and at low birth weight. They are twice as likely to suffer abuse and neglect. They are also more likely to become teen parents themselves someday.
Teen childbearing costs U.S. taxpayers (federal, state, and local) more than $9 billion every year. Most of the costs are associated with negative consequences for the children of teen mothers – including increased costs for health care, foster care, and incarceration.
Teen moms face a lot of challenges too. Parenthood is a primary reason girls cite for dropping out of high school. Less than half of girls who have a baby before age 18 graduate from high school and fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30. Eight out of 10 fathers don’t marry the teen mother of their babies and most couples don’t stay together at all. More than half of all teen mothers will be on welfare within 5 years of giving birth. Teen mothers are likely to have a second birth relatively soon – about one-fourth of teen moms have a second child within 24 months of the first – which can further impede their ability to finish school, keep a job, or escape poverty.
There is some good news though – teen pregnancy and birth rates in the U.S. have declined dramatically in the past two decades. Rates today are at the lowest levels since the government started keeping track seven decades ago. Why such a big decline? Fewer teens are sexually active today than before and more are using contraception.
Five Things Parents Need to Know:
1. How Do YOU Feel?
How do you feel about relationships, sex, contraception, dating, co-ed sleepovers, etc. It’s a good idea to talk about this with yourself and get comfortable with what you believe, so that when the topics do come up with your kids, you know where you stand. For example, how do you feel if your daughter asks you for help getting on the pill? What about if your son wants to date a girl who is much older than he is?
2. Understand That You Really Matter.
Parents often underestimate their own power over their teens’ decisions. Parents are actually more influential than any other factor – more so than peers, partners or pop culture. In a recent nationwide survey, teens were asked, “When it comes to your decisions about sex, who is most influential?” Nearly half (46%) said parents, 20% said friends, 7% said religious leaders, 5% said siblings, and 4% said media. Embrace this and take advantage of it. Make sure your kids understand what you think and how you feel. They are paying attention, even when they don’t act like. It’s also important to listen to what they think and feel.
3. It’s More Than Just The Talk.
Don’t think of this as only one talk. It’s an 18-year conversation. It starts when kids are young, when you talk about body parts and feelings and it continues, in an age-appropriate manner, until adulthood. That’s good news! When you spend a lifetime having this conversation you can ease into it, you can go back and talk again if you feel like you messed up or left something out. An ongoing discussion over many years will also underscore the importance of these topics. Everyone in the world is talking to your kids about sex constantly – the music they listen to, the movies they watch, their friends, etc. – you need to be part of that lifelong conversation, too. Also keep in mind that when your teens ask you about your own past (when did you have sex for the first time, what did you do as a teen) it is okay to say, “This conversation isn’t about me. We can talk about me another time, but right now, we are talking about you.” Also, it’s important to stress that the risks and costs of having sex nowadays are far greater than when you were a teen, and that you want them to avoid some of the mistakes you made along the way.
4. Curiosity About Sex Is a Normal Part of Growing Up.
Kids are full of hormones and urges and curiosity. Just because they have questions about sex doesn’t mean they’re doing it. Too often parents overreact when their kids have questions about these topics – doing so only makes it more awkward for everyone. Remember that curiosity is normal; you want them to feel comfortable coming to you with questions.
5. It Isn’t Just Girls.
Teen girls don’t get pregnant by themselves. If we are concerned about too-early pregnancy and parenthood, we have to talk to our sons as well as our daughters. Too often the message to girls is “Just say no,” and the message to guys is “Be careful.” It takes two people to get pregnant – and only one to prevent it. Talk to your sons as well as your daughters about the risks and consequences of having sex.
And when you do talk to your kids – which you should do regularly – here is an important thing to include:
Contraception is essential! We all want young people to delay having sex for as long as possible, and it’s important to talk to them about waiting and make sure they know that not everyone is doing it (about half of high school students have had sex, which means about half have not and some are lying). If they are going to have sex, they need to use protection every single time. No exceptions. Make sure your kids know that.
Talking to your kids about waiting and also telling them that contraception is important are complimentary messages – NOT contradictory ones. It’s like when you tell them that you don’t want them drinking, or drinking and driving, or getting in a car with someone who has been drinking – but if that situation arises, they are to call you for a ride. It’s the same with sex. You don’t want them having sex, but you also need to say that if they are going to have sex, they must use protection, and if they need you to help them get it, you will.
One of the primary reasons teens don’t use birth control is because they don’t want their parents to find out. Tell them that contraception is a must. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is far worse than talking to them about protection.
There are common challenges that get in the way of a satisfying sex life. And you’re not alone if you feel your sex drive isn’t what it used to be. To change that, I prescribe the all-natural foods and supplements guaranteed to spice up your love life, turn up the heat in the bedroom, and increase the fun for all.
Orgasms are anything but simple. They require a complex dance of physical stimulation and reaction. When every link in the chain does its job, you experience a satisfying torrent of sensation. But, as our bodies age, the chances that one of those steps will be skipped increases, making an already elusive goal of achieving orgasm that much harder. And that’s if you even get that far – battling a diminished libido is often an additional, if not primary, challenge.
And there’s nothing to be ashamed about: 40% of women will experience a decline in libido. Well before women hit menopause, their bodies begin to make changes that affect hormone levels. The ovaries, which are the source of 50% of our testosterone, become less active, decreasing the production of the sex hormone that is key to our libido. As estrogen decreases, so does testosterone. It’s this decline in testosterone that’s really responsible for a reduced sex drive.
However, there is some good news. The path to greater sexual satisfaction could begin with what you eat, resulting in the right balance of hormones and conditions that’ll get you closer to your goal of sexual satisfaction and improved intimacy.
All-Natural Libido Boosters
Pumpkin seeds contain zinc, the ultimate sex mineral. Studies show that women with a greater sex drive have higher levels of testosterone. To increase your testosterone, add zinc to your diet. Zinc blocks the enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen. A quarter-cup serving of pumpkin seeds may do the trick.
For increased arousal, try watermelon. The compounds present in watermelon may have a “Viagra-like” effect, relaxing blood vessels and increasing blood flow. Proper blood flow allows the tissues to become engorged, aroused and lubricated.
L-arginine, an amino acid available in supplement form, may dilate clitoral blood vessels, increasing flow to erogenous zones and helping to improve arousal.
To beat the blues and hold on to a good mood, which is essential to wanting to make love in the first place, try rhodiola, a plant-derived supplement. Rhodiola may help block the breakdown of the feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin. Increasing dopamine can boost female sexual pleasure. Diluting 20-30 drops in a glass of water is the recommended dosage for both men and women.
As cliché as it sounds, there’s a reason chocolate-covered strawberries are one of Cupid’s favorite weapons. Dark chocolate (make sure it’s 70% cocoa) helps to increase dopamine levels, the brain’s “pleasure chemical”; the bioflavonoids in dark chocolate also open up blood vessels and improve blood flow. The sugar in the strawberries gives you a little boost of energy. Combined, you may find yourself feeling a little more inspired than usual.
To increase sex drive, add some fish to your diet. Halibut can raise testosterone levels because it’s high in magnesium. Magnesium makes it more difficult for testosterone to latch onto proteins in the body. As a result, testosterone is distributed in the blood, helping to kick up your sex drive.
Asparagus is considered one of the best libido-boosting foods since it’s rich in folate. A naturally occurring form of folic acid, folate regulates the production of histamine – the chemical that is released during an orgasm.
Garlic contains allicin, a compound that thins the blood. Because of this, it improves the blood circulation necessary for an erection by relaxing the arteries. Having strong circulation also allows for greater physical endurance in the bedroom.
In addition to containing potassium and B vitamins that elevate energy levels, bananas contain the natural anti-inflammatory enzyme bromelain, which aids in triggering greater production of testosterone.
To heighten sexual attraction, add celery to your salad. It contains androsterone, a pheromone precursor. Pheromones are odorless chemical signals released through sweat glands; once “smelled,” pheromones can subconsciously affect the behavior of the receiving mate.
Walnuts, an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, are known to boost dopamine and arginine levels in the brain, which increases the production of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide is the essential chemical compound for erections; it dilates the blood vessels, allowing blood to travel freely.
The antioxidant superfood, beets are also nitrate-rich. These nitrates improve blood flow throughout the body.
Another pleasure-boosting food is peanut butter. Rich in monounsaturated fats, this nutty spread can heighten female sexual arousal. Pair your peanut butter with some dark chocolate. The cocoa contains bioflavonoids, powerful antioxidants that unclog blood vessels for better flow. These plant compounds can also help prevent a decline in estrogen, which plays a role in decreased libido. The cocoa also increases the presence of dopamine, one of the brain’s feel-good chemicals.
Beef is high in the ultimate sex mineral: zinc. Zinc blocks the enzyme aromatase from converting testosterone to estrogen. A deficiency of zinc can result in a low sperm count and a weak sex drive.
For tea drinkers, ginseng tea contains the compound ginsenoside; this compounds impacts the gonadal tissue responsible for sperm production. It increases sperm count while heightening sexual satisfaction and can also work to prevent or reduce erectile dysfunction.
Add some spice to your sex life by sprinkling some nutmeg in your coffee or cereal. This spice can imitate the effects of serotonin – its scent allows for relaxation and its taste can elevate mood. Lack of sleep can also be a culprit responsible for low sex drive. Nutmeg can help your sleep cycle as well, as it is rich in the sleep-inducing amino acid tryptophan.
Ginger, a powerful and multipurpose herb, dilates your blood vessels. Without the free passage of blood cells to the sex organs, sexual sensation decreases.
When taken in small doses (no more than 25 milligrams), DHEA, a hormone produced naturally in the body, can readjust and stabilize hormone levels, and treat erectile dysfunction. It is recommended that DHEA be administered while under the supervision of a physician or licensed health professional.
Ingredients
Serves 4
4 (4-oz each) skinless, boneless, chicken breasts (You can also use 4 (4-oz) skinless fish fillets instead of chicken in this recipe.)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp poultry seasoning
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 red bell pepper, stem removed, seeded, and diced
1/2 lb asparagus, cut into 1-in pieces
1 tsp lemon zest
1/2 cup low sodium chicken stock or water
2 cups cooked brown rice or whole wheat couscous
Directions
Rinse the chicken under cold water. Pat the pieces dry with food-safe paper towels. Season the chicken with the poultry seasoning, salt and pepper.
In a large, non-stick skillet, heat the oil over medium high heat. Add the chicken to the skillet. Cook the chicken about 5 minutes. If you are using fish, adjust the cooking time to 3 to 4 minutes per side. Turn the pieces over and cook for another 5 minutes or until golden brown. Stir in the garlic and the red pepper. Add the asparagus and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the zest and the chicken stock or water and turn the heat to low. Cover and cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Serve immediately over hot rice or couscous.
Ingredients
Serves 12 to 14 people
1 lb soy-based meat alternative, preferably sausage-flavored
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, peeled and diced
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
2 large Portobello mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed, and caps finely minced (Mincing the mushrooms gives them a texture similar to ground meat.)
1 tbsp vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp salt, divided
2 tsp ground black pepper, divided
2 tbsp Italian seasoning, divided
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 (32 oz.) jar low-sodium pasta sauce
1 (16 oz.) jar mild salsa
1/2 tsp sugar substitute
14 to 16 lasagna noodles, oven ready, no boil, whole wheat or regular
16 oz low-fat ricotta cheese
1 egg
3/4 lb low-fat mozzarella cheese, sliced
3/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 lb fresh baby spinach, washed and dried
Directions
In a large microwave-safe bowl, combine the soy-based meat alternative, olive oil, onion, garlic, mushrooms, vegetarian Worcestershire sauce, salt, black pepper,1 tbsp Italian seasoning, nutmeg and the cayenne pepper. Mix with a fork to combine. Micro-cook in the microwave on medium-high power for 5 to 6 minutes, breaking up the meat with a fork after 3 minutes.
Combine the pasta sauce and the salsa with the faux-meat mixture. Stir in the sugar substitute and 1/2 tbsp of the Italian seasoning. Simmer, cover with a plate or with microwave-safe plastic wrap for about 10 minutes on medium-low to low heat, stirring after 5 minutes. If you don't know how to adjust the temperature on your microwave oven, use the defrost setting and cook the sauce for 10 minutes.
In a separate mixing bowl, combine the ricotta cheese with the egg and the remaining 1/2 tbsp of the Italian seasoning. Set aside.
Preheat the oven to 375 ° F.
To assemble, spread 1/2 cup of the sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange 4 oven-ready, no-boil noodles lengthwise over the sauce and break one noodle to fit sideways across the ends of the baking dish.
Spread 1/3 of the ricotta cheese mixture over the noodles. Top with a third of the fresh spinach and the mozzarella cheese slices. Spoon 1/2 cup of the meat sauce over the mozzarella. Repeat layering, topping off the last layer with the rest of the sauce, and reserving any of the remaining cheese for later use.
Cover the pan with foil. Bake in preheated oven for 40 minutes. Remove foil, and top with any remaining mozzarella and the parmesan cheese. Bake, uncovered, an additional 10 to 15 minutes or until the lasagna is tender when pierced with a fork and the sauce is bubbling around the edges. Cool for 15 minutes before serving.
This makes a large quantity of spaghetti, but it can be divided into serving portions and frozen for later use.
Ingredients
1 lb soy-based meat alternative, preferably sausage-flavored
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, peeled and diced
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
2 large Portobello mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed, and caps finely minced (Finely mincing the mushrooms gives them an appearance and texture similar to ground meat.)
1 large zucchini, washed, ends removed, and diced
1 tbsp vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp salt, divided
2 tsp ground black pepper, divided
2 tbsp Italian seasoning, divided
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 (32 oz) jar low-sodium pasta sauce
1 (16 oz) jar mild salsa
1/2 tsp sugar substitute
16 oz whole wheat spaghetti
3/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
Directions
In a large microwave-safe bowl, combine the soy-based meat alternative, olive oil, onion, garlic, mushrooms, zucchini, vegetarian Worcestershire sauce, salt, black pepper, 1 tbsp Italian seasoning, nutmeg and cayenne pepper. Mix with a fork to combine. Micro-cook in the microwave on medium-high power for 5 to 6 minutes, breaking up the meat with a fork after 3 minutes.
Combine the low-sodium pasta sauce and the salsa with the meat mixture. Stir in the sugar substitute and 1/2 tablespoon of the remaining Italian seasoning. Simmer, cover with a plate or with microwave-safe plastic wrap for about 10 minutes on medium-low to low heat, stirring after 5 minutes. If you don't know how to adjust the temperature on your microwave oven, use the defrost setting and cook the sauce for 10 minutes.
Cook the spaghetti according to the package directions. Drain the pasta and reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta water. Combine the spaghetti with the low-sodium pasta sauce. Add the reserved pasta water, a little at a time, to thin out the sauce as needed. Sprinkle with the parmesan cheese.
Ingredients
Serves 8
1 1/2 cups shredded green cabbage
1 1/2 cups shredded red cabbage
1 cup shredded carrots
1/4 cup finely sliced green onions
1 1/2 cups shredded jicama
1 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/8 cup sugar substitute
1/2 tbsp organic honey
1 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 cup low-fat olive oil or canola mayonnaise
1/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 tbsp coarse-grained mustard
Directions
Combine the green and red cabbages, carrots, and green onions in a large mixing bowl. In a small bowl, toss the jicama with the lemon juice and the vinegar and it to the cabbage mixture. Using a small mixing bowl, combine the sugar substitute, the honey, salt, pepper, garlic powder and the onion powder, and whisk the ingredients together until the sugar and honey dissolve. Pour the sugar mixture over the cabbage mixture and toss to thoroughly combine. Cover with food-safe plastic wrap and place the coleslaw in the refrigerator for 20 to 30 minutes.
Using a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, the buttermilk, and the mustard together until well blended. Add the mayonnaise mixture to the coleslaw and toss to thoroughly combine. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and up to overnight before serving.
